Adjustments [July 2-3, 2015]

Adjustments.

Right before I left for India, I had a mixture of emotions- excitement, terror, wonder for what was in store. Over the past year specifically God has really placed in my heart a deep desire to travel, at least I think it’s from Him. I want to see the world, to experience and see all that God can show me in this life and how he can use me. I want to see how other people live and to have even a clue as to what that looks like in real life, rather than just reading about it on other people’s blogs, books or on TV.

The funny thing that I didn’t expect is…reality. I want to see the world, but do I really want to experience it? Do I want to feel what it feels like to live in a slum? To go hungry? To know people who have experienced deep injustices encouraged by culture or tradition? To my surprise, these past few weeks, the answer has been no. In my head I say yes, in my heart I say no. I’ve dreamt of what it would be like, what I’d see but not necessarily what I would feel.

Honestly, I feel dirty. Sick. Sore.

I am not living in poverty.

I am not living without food.

I am not living without access to clean water

…and yet I feel this way.

In part, the loss of western comforts has just been plain old difficult for me to handle. My body is used to feeling one way and with the adjustments; it cannot help but feel the absence of many comforts. But on the other hand, maybe this is just part of what God wants to show me in order to give me a taste of what the world really feels like. It is not a perfect picture, in fact far from it. But that’s the point too- even feeling this way, I am so blessed. There are people who live in conditions far below what I am experiencing now with health issues, that I am seeing daily, that far outweigh the health problems I have now. Usually I’d say comparison is bad. But there is a time and a place for it and this is one of those times when God can use it to remind you of what you truly have.

Yesterday I met a women in clinic who has had 6 children. Only 2 remain alive and one is currently sick. She was scared for her future. Scared for her child. Scared for what burden could be around the corner. Tears couldn’t help but run down her face as she confided in the physician.  Is not her burden heavy?

Different Approach.

When people come to the hospital…they need  it. Some of the stuff I’ve seen here, I have only read about in textbooks and will likely never see again in North America. Grade 4 hemorrhoids, large monkey bites with rabies risk, open prostatectomy. These things are not seen or done where I live in Canada because we have comparatively, excellent access to care and advanced surgical technologies. We catch things early. We screen. We attempt preventative medicine. But when there is no access to care, or it is far away or operates with limited staff and resources, the patient cases change dramatically.
I’m amazed at the knowledge base of the physicians here. They are literally ‘jacks-of-all-trades’ who have such a deep understanding of anatomy, physiology and pathology because they know that their window of opportunity to serve the patient may be small and they want to do their best by them. Additionally, they are genuinely motivated by the love of Christ to serve others as if serving him. I see them consciously striving to do everything with joy, no matter how small or hard the task. They sing. They smile. They inspire me to work hard, to study and to use my career for the glory of God.